Anxiety...It sucks!

I am an anxious person. I have been anxious for as long as I remember. I get anxious about all sorts of things from imagining someone has died if they are late to what people think of me to crowded places. I get anxious talking to other parents and teachers at my kids school.

I had to go into the school yesterday for parent - teacher interviews. I hate parent - teacher interviews. I am sure the teachers will bring up the fact that my kids don't always have fruit in their lunchbox, that sometimes my kids fight with each other, we don't always get homework done. So i spend the week leading up to parent - teacher interviews very anxious. I worry about what the teachers will say about my kids. Do they behave? do they have friends? are they keeping up with their school work? It is rather distressing. Then I go to the interviews and everything is fine. My kids have wonderful teachers and they are genuinely happy with my kids. My daughter loves reading and she is well ahead in her reading, my son tries his best at everything he does. The teachers are happy and I am happy and we all leave happy. Except that I don't.

My son's teacher will mention he needs more confidence. So I worry that he has low self - esteem and he will never be confident and he will turn to drugs when he is older (no, I do not know why I think that). My daughter's teacher says she needs to work on being descriptive in her writing. My daughter constantly tells me that she wants to be a writer when she grows up, so I worry that her dream will never happen and she will be miserable the rest of her life, despite the fact that she is only 7 years old.

I worry about myself too. I worry that I am a terrible writer, I worry that no one likes my blog, I worry that I don't get comments. I worry that I will never be an author, that I will never write for magazines or websites. I worry about my health.

So I worry a lot. Then I picked up a book called 'The little book of anxiety' by Kerri Sackville. I felt a lot better about myself. Not because Kerri is an anxious person, I really feel for her and hope her anxiety is getting better, but because I no longer feel alone. For many years I have felt that I am the only one who ever gets anxious. Kerri's book really resonates with me and I understand exactly where she is coming from. I still get anxious, I probably always will but Kerri has made me feel like I am not alone. I am truly grateful to her for her book.