I want to talk about what happens when you have a sick child. My daughter was diagnosed with a medical condition in September 2016 and spent a few weeks in hospital. Since she has been out, we have attended hundreds of appointments at various doctors, we are attending at least one doctors appointment per week, quite often more.
I am not going to go into my daughters medical condition because this post is not about her. It is about my other children. When you have a sick child, quite often the parents focus is on that child and that is understandable, there is very few things worse for a parent than seeing your child sick and not being able to fix it. Siblings can quite often be moved to the sidelines. I do not believe that it is intentional, the parents just have a lot to deal with. I know I was guilty of this when my daughter was in hospital.
While in hospital, our days went something like this, I was lucky in the fact that my partner was between jobs so had him to help, which without him, I do not know how I would have managed. We would wake up and get my son ready for school, quite often we would be late as we were getting home from the hospital quite late at night. My partner and I would then wash clothes we brought home from the hospital the previous day, get things together to bring in for my daughter, have numerous phone calls from the doctors about my daughters health and my partner would ensure I would sit and relax for a while. We would then go pick up my son from school, bring him home, give him a snack and let him play for a while. I would double check we had everything we needed to bring in for my daughter and then we would head to the hospital. As soon as we got to the hospital I would go see my daughter, then I would find her nurse and find out how she had done that day. We would stay at the hospital until 8:30 or 9pm. Once we had left we would either grab some take away or make a simple meal, my son would eat and then he would be off to bed. Then my partner and I would discuss my daughters progress before collapsing in bed. My son was exceptional during this time, he never complained and just went along with whatever we had to do, although I did not think about it at the time.
Once my daughter was out of hospital we still had many doctors appointments. I cannot even count the number of hours we have spent in a doctors office since September but it would most likely be in the hundreds. It was only yesterday that it occured to me about what my son has been through, and I know that sounds horrible. Caring for a sick child is a fulltime job, both emotionally and physically.
Yesterday we were yet again sitting in a hospital while my daughter had some tests done, my son was with us and I was watching him. He was so used to sitting in a hospital and waiting but I could see it in his face. He was over it, he is over hospitals and waiting, and I don't blame him the slightest, waiting around is hard enough for an adult, let alone an eight year old who doesn't fully understand why his sister is sick. I realised then that siblings are quite often forgotten about, just expected to deal with being dragged around hospitals and doctors offices. My son deserves a medal for how he has dealt with all this.
I have also seen many comments on social media from people - who presumably have never had a seriously ill child - judge parents for not spending every second in hospital with their child, or not paying full attention to their other children. I am sick of it. A parent still has the normal, everyday things to do such as housework, feeding themselves and any other children plus the added tasks of talking to doctors and going to hospitals and doctors offices. A bit of empathy goes a long way.
