The Real Real Housewives Of Melbourne

I watched with fascination the reality TV series The Real Housewives of Melbourne and was struck by how unrealistic their lives seem to be.
I started comparing their lives to mine. Most of them have kids. Kids that seem to either be adults or cared for by nannies constantly. My kids just have to put up with me caring for them.
They are always in full make up and their hair is done perfectly and they are always in fancy clothes. I am lucky if I brush my hair.
They are always eating at fancy restaurants and buying clothes and shoes at fancy boutiques. You would think that would use up all their money. I just shop at Kmart.
These women seem far too busy gossiping, shopping and having big parties. I gossip to my toddlers about what the wiggles are up to and take them for riveting trips to Coles and well the only parties I ever have include a bunch of kids. And chocolate cake.
Their homes look like something out of a magazine, despite having kids and pets. Have you seen the mess kids make?
They are always in heels painful shoes to walk in while shopping and doing, well, anything really. Have you tried spending a whole day in heels? it hurts my feet after the first hour.
After they have finished shopping, gossiping and drinking coffee at overpriced cafes how do they find the time to cook, clean and work? and if they have personal chefs and maids then again I ask how do they afford them?

So as you can see The Real Housewives of Melbourne, for the majority of us really isn't that real. I hereby give you 'The real real housewives of Melbourne'.
The show would start with me desperately drinking coffee and yelling at my kids to hurry up and finish breakfast to get ready for school. I would then make school lunches (but only because i always forget to make them the night before).
I would then take my older kids to school and then return home and listen to my toddlers ask for chocolate milk and sing along to The Wiggles.
I will play candy crush while having more coffee to give me energy to do everything I need to do.
I become distracted by an article I see online and spend hours reading the comments, amazed by the cruelness of some people and kindness of others.
I will check my emails (but only if I don't get distracted by candy crush).
I realise it is my kids nap time so change their nappies and put them into bed. I sigh with relief and sit down with another coffee and watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
I write a blog post, well attempt to write one while i get distracted by facebook, my toddlers or both.
I then realise its time for school to end, the kids come home and I tell them to put their school notices next to my computer. I may remember to read them.
I cook my kids dinner. At least one of them will not want to eat it.
My kids have their bath and clean up before bed.
My kids go to bed and I sit down to watch endless episodes of Grey's Anatomy and dream of McDreamy (Oh My God, did you see last weeks episode? I still haven't recovered from McDreamy's death)
Plus you know, a hundred other things I forgot to mention here because my toddlers are currently trying to jump all over me.

Plus, I think the housewives are missing out. Where do they find the time to drool over McDreamy?