I have been pretty quiet on Twitter and my blog lately. I have been thinking about doing something, something that will allow me to be true to myself. I have kept this a secret from a lot of people for a long time. I am tired, tired of hiding it and tired of not being myself around people that I care about. I am Bisexual.
I have watched the marriage equality debate closely, I have been called everything from a faggot lover to a pedophile supporter. I have been told I am damaging my children for allowing them to have open minds and embrace people for who they are, I have been told that I am bullying someone from the Australian Christian Lobby when I saw a person being attacked for being gay. This should shock me, I should be offended but I have heard it all before, from my own family.
I came out to my family in 2009. They were disgusted by me and told me 'we don't talk about these things' and 'it is just a phase' and that I will burn in hell for my sin. They have made homophobic slurs ever since. Some members of my family will go so far as to support a registered child sex offender after he was released from prison but, according to her, being bisexual is much worse.
Because of the way my family reacted, I did not say much more, a few people have known for years and some, like a girl I had known since school, told me it was disgusting and I shouldn't have my kids in my care to someone who made comments whenever I went out with a woman about 'girl dates' and 'can I have a video of you making out'. Luckily I have also had support. I have support from my partner and the few friends who know I am bisexual.
I have dated both men and women in recent years and I managed to keep things under wraps pretty well. My partner, who was at the time a close friend, knew and supported me, my housemate knew and well, that is about it. When I spoke to friends I would purposely skirt around the issue of their gender. I would tell them 'the person I am dating' or 'my date'. It was exhausting but nothing compared to what I was about to experience.
I was dating a woman in 2015. She was a wonderful, selfless, kind woman and everyone who saw me would agree that I was happy. She died suddenly and because only very few people knew I was dating a woman, I had very little support. My family knew and told me that it was 'god's will' and 'that is what you get for dating the same gender'. Imagine grieving for someone you love and not being able to have the support of friends and family because you have people jumping up and down and telling you that your relationship is wrong? That there is something wrong with you? Imagine your partner dying and you are told it is because you love someone of the same sex? Imagine being in the hospital while your partner is dying but you are not allowed in the room? You miss out on your chance to say goodbye because of your gender? That is what marriage equality is about. It is not about religion, it is not about the LGBTQ community having a tantrum, which was an accusation I heard today, it is about having the same legal protection as everybody else.
I am sorry to friends who I have hid this from, I am sorry I wasn't honest. I was ashamed but I no longer am.
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