Mothers, The PTA and everything in between

I was approached by one of the mothers at school, while picking up my son on Friday. Normally I am happy to make small talk with other parents but have no desire to become good friends with them. I am sure they are nice people but I just do not get that spark when I talk to them, most of them ignore me anyway. This does not bother me.

This mother, I had overheard a few times, telling other people about her perfect husband, perfect children, perfect house and perfect cleaner and babysitter. This woman always makes sure people know that her life is perfect. Good for her.

This mother asked me for a coffee sometime next week so she could discuss with me how I could become more involved with the school and help with the parents association and fundraising. While I respect those parents that do these sort of things, I do not have the time. I politely explained to her that I have four kids, two of which are not yet in school, I study and I have a household to run, shopping to do and you know, twitter and Facebook to check. This mother suggested I put my two younger kids in childcare, not study, hire a cleaner and get someone else to do my shopping.

Her reply annoyed me greatly, Firstly, If I choose to not put my children in daycare, I am entitled to that choice, If I choose to study then that is my right and not everyone can afford a cleaner 7 days a week and not everyone has the luxury of asking someone else to do their grocery shopping.

Sure, I could put my two youngest children in childcare but if I did that I would be more likely to catch up on laundry, the dishes or sleeping. I am studying to gain a degree in communications. I believe study is important and do not believe I should give it up to help at the school. I cannot afford a cleaner, and as much as I would love one, that is not a possibility for me. Sure I could do my shopping online, but in the past that has ended in failure (when you ask for toddler nappies, newborn nappies will not be a good substitute coles online).

So, now that I have refused to help, and according to this mother but my own selfishness before my children, I am made to feel guilty. This is not okay with me. Not every parent has the time to help out at school. If a parent does have the time, that is great. Other parents need to realise not every mother or father is in the same position as them. These parents, who do not have the time to help out should not be made to feel guilty about it.